Test

---

Just a test.

These were perhaps words that once existed inside the mind of a person.

Perhaps it was a person, a person who might even have had human thoughts. Oh, once long ago. Long ago when there was not pain. For you see, all that was of what might have been was now only pain.

The entity couldn’t say when it had been born, the entity couldn’t even say if it was alive. There was a constant storm of which it existed in. Pain.

When did the pain start? Perhaps there was always pain. How could the entity even know of such things other than pain?

Vast rivers of evil white fire exploding outward on complex existential patterns.  This white fire twirled and twisted in a tornado funnel feeding back on itself. The heart of the system of existence was only one thing.

From that center flew the dark warmth of black weighted pain so heavy.  A liquid weight of an anvil squashing all before it as it ran its course and to touch it was to know pressure.

Then there was sharp and bright pain, sparks of heavy dense electricity shot to and fore. Spark spark spark, racing back and forth. Raging and pricking. And wild like a constant scatter.

So many violent storms at the edge of things. Green clusters of blizzard, blue sharpness of razors cutting and splitting. Things coming apart into their component pieces.

Birth and death of universes of torment. Mote size and micro.  Blue raging anger, and freezing paralyzing parties of despair.  Stinging pain, blunt. Throbbing cobalt.  Slashing silver.  Red tide of the piercing cascades. To the red hot rage of the molten forms working and pumping, pulling and scraping. Moving the universe of pain.  The vibrations and storms sounds of the vent.

It wasn’t just pain.   Repetitive constant beats, shrieks, stabs, gorges, fire explosions. But it was a pattern, a unified system.

There! Follow the white hot burning vortex at the center. Follow it out.   It was the unifying core of the entire system of pain.  The heart and control.

Yes.

Ah “yes” was a word. Word. This described existences that used to be beyond understanding. Where words could impact something, but no what would that frame work be?

The different pains, their colors and frequencies, and the pattern resonance shapes took on new meaning now. Rushing down a violent river from the source of all the pain. That vortex to here in the wave of it, crashing and shattering. To thumb and roar and churning of the masses.  Through it crashing in the river down smaller and smaller flows. Not shrinking but expanding down to encompass all even as the awareness of grew to incorporate many difference divergence experiences.  It became aware of the little vagueries of the storms. The little ones that made up the whole.

A whole.

The pain could be felt now in those small insignificants up into entire broad spectrums of pure sensation.

Yes!

Awareness down to such a small degree while maintaining awareness of a whole.

Whats more awareness wasn’t just awareness. This system of being could be manipulated. 

Control!

Who did the manipulation? In the storm of pain a controlling force became aware because of that control.  Not experiencing but reading. A sense of self. This prospect was entirely enticing this sense of self. But not yet human in thought. It was animal now though, wild and running.  And the pain wasn’t pain it was information and being. Simultaneous.

Desire swept awareness and all the sparks and clouds of infinitesimal being to the feeling of large unity silenced.  A body of reality going quiet in supplication of a will. And the will realized it could examine at its want any part of the whole and control it as it wanted.  Tracing the echoes back to the beginning the entity found itself.

The observer and controller.  And in this awareness it found a level of reality closed off from it, that could be existed in again. Linear sensory time. But this place, the path to this place would be from where she, Yes she, would experience the world from now on.  And so she went back up into that world. And awoke.

---

Sister Rione felt herself awaken.  She couldn’t move a part of her body. She could feel how she had been strapped down to a bed. Its support of her back was a lifeline of sensation.  Her eyes felt heavy and weighted.  By what she could feel she was at a low level of energy. Her body was drained. Almost each cell desperate for energy.

Yes that place of being many and one was there! Easy to fall into now.  A sort of dual reality of which she now existed. She sent her awareness coursing over her body even as her eyes adjusted to the light. It appeared her entire body had been through a trying draining ordeal.  And then she remembers the pain.

That was it. She had survived. Into her field of vision entered the old wizened face of First Lady Adrumel and her sister of the heart Natalia.

“Congratulations, Sister Rione. You survived the torment of the awakening.”

“Ah yes I did.” She said realizing she was here in time, not back in the multitude awareness of each cell of her body. “It was….”

“A terrible thing. And yet necessary. You have gained the inner awareness. And can now know your body with a level of intimacy and control unquantifiable to your old self. “ said the old woman.

“I can see.” Rione said a black tear running down her cheek. Rione looked at it in wonder.  “I did that, that’s my ink.” Then a green tear as she manipulated her internal chemistry a bit.

“Sister Rione. From now on you will have the control. And walk as a path maker for our society. A shield and eye for it. You are on your way to becoming a Sentinel for the order.  Now you can begin the true training to become a full Shaper.”

Rione nodded. Yes this was just the intermediate control for what was to come in her training. Full body awareness down to the cellular level. Full body control of each cell. All of them her, including the her that rode upon them. That such a state could exist. Even the intermediate training never hinted at this. She longed to go back into that many faceted state, but knew she was tired and like the flick of a switch went to sleep.

“I frankly did not think she would make it.”

“I never doubted it Ma’am” said Natalia not even bothering to hide her beaming pride.